faggotician:

Luv these snoopy patches on ebay

spent like 2 hours trying to decode a combo lock that i havent touched in over a decade and then managed to fat finger the correct combo on accident

i went to the gym the other day. ive been trying to do that for years. it wasn’t a horrible experience either. just kinda. sore.

anyways uh i don’t really have anybody to tell except the internet and my therapist so ykno. here y go.

ashes2caches:

They discontinued the Concorde because it was too fucking sexy

I mean look at that thing

spoopyskelington:

Aw fuck they went and Australianised Silent Hill

onlykex:

This is the kind of toxic masculinity i want to see

ganondorf:

please make charcoal toothpaste that actually tastes like charcoal

im allergic to anything mint

i actually like the taste of charcoal tho

hypertextdog:

disasterboymp3:

ladies and gentlemen this is your pilot speaking. ummmmm it’s bad

☹️

the doc rly said “well, sorry about that” when i reported that the lexapro had removed my horny, as if he was not the funniest person alive the moment that he said that

i mean, my man, my guy, youre prescribing me lexapro do you really think im out here suckin ‘n fuckin every tuesday night?

i still regularly go to work in dirty clothes bc its socially acceptable to be a stinkny bitch

i do not care if my dick get hard or not, i wannna stop finding my laundry in the washing machine bc i forgot abt it and left it soggy in there for days and i gotta wash it again cuz now it smells like sewer ass

socialmaya:

mythologyofblue:

“I fell in love with the idea that the mysterious thing you look for your whole life will eventually eat you alive.”

— Laurie Anderson explaining her attraction to Moby-Dick

localairport:

localairport:

The airport will be closed until the airport is opened again

The airport has been opened and will remain open until it is closed

disasterboymp3:

ladies and gentlemen this is your pilot speaking. ummmmm it’s bad

acebycircle:

yeah, still no grasp of like, strategy, or anything regarding pokemon go. still just enjoying giving the creatures funny names bc of how the game uses it

current favorite is “Ford Pinto, I choose you!” 

right now my most successful PvP team is composed of a Ramparados, Jolteon, and Rapidash. named “Mail Fraud”, “Toyota Prius”, and “Fort Pinto” respectively